Popsicle Pen 15
by Merciless Ruby
Summary: It was Ichigo's fault for daring them & Yachiru's fault for opening her big mouth. It was a simple joke: take a picture with a sleeping Toushiro; of course, none of them knew that the captain of the 10th division slept with nothing that covered his glorious popsicle. [HitsuHina] R&R!


**Summary: It was Ichigo's fault for daring them & Yachiru's fault for opening her big mouth. It was a simple joke: take a picture with a sleeping Toushiro; of course, none of them knew that the captain of the 10th division slept with nothing that covered his glorious popsicle.**

Pairing: HitsuHina, slight/ very minor UlquiHime

I **do not** own Bleach or any of its characters

* * *

They just _had _to go down to Karakura Town for a "mission".

They just _had _to visit Orihime Inoue.

Ichigo just _had _to be there…and _Renji too_…

Rukia just _had _to suggest an unfair game of Truth or Dare.

Matsumoto just _had _to hand out alcohol.

….And she just _had _to pick dare…

Momo thought about the consequences of getting caught. It couldn't be that bad, right? He had been her friend for a long time…and lately they've been having dinner together in a quiet place away from the shinigamis. They had to avoid anyone they knew in order for their dates to go smoothly and uninterrupted.

Quietly, she led Matsumoto, Rukia, Orihime, and Yoruichi down the quiet hallway and towards the door at the end. Why was Yoruichi involved in this too? Well, she had explained that she had nothing better to do and would like to do something…_risqué_…

Their original victim had been Captain Kuchiki, but Rukia said that her brother-in-law slept with his eyes opened…literally. She stated that even before they had a chance to enter his headquarters, his guards would have them on the floor with their zanpakutos by their throat.

So, Byakuya was out.

Then, there was Captain Yamamoto…but that was an automatic no.

Captain Ukitake and Shunsui came to everyone's mind, but they weren't too much fun to mess with…according to Renji.

Kenpachi came to their mind, but they weren't sure if the captain even slept.

But of course, Ichigo had suggested Captain Hitsugaya and thought the dare would go through without any problems since they all knew (somehow) that Momo had a spare key to Toushiro's headquarters.

Well, _shit_, someone knew that she and Toushiro spent some quiet time together and exchanged spare keys….

"Orihime, is the camera ready?"

"Yes!"

"Shhhh!"

"Sorry…"

"Momo, are you sure this is Captain Hitsugaya's headquarters?"

"Yoruichi that is such a stupid question. Why wouldn't Momo know where her boyfriend sleeps?"

"Matsumoto, we're not going out."

"Yet, that is…"

Momo didn't respond to that, knowing that if she continued, Matsumoto would start getting ideas of what she and her childhood friend did during their private time.

_Anyway…_

The women stopped in front of his door, rethinking of what they were about to do.

Matsumoto knew that the only thing her captain could do to her if he found out that she was in on this was simply yell at her, give her more paperwork, and hide her alcohol…but he did that already so who cares?

Rukia knew that if he found out that she was in on this, he would simply tell Byakuya about it and well…_that _wouldn't be pretty.

Orihime knew that she had nothing to fear from the tenth-squad captain since 1) he wouldn't go to Karakura Town to scowl at her 2) she rarely came to Soul Society 3) a certain Espada-boyfriend (did she just consider Ulquiorra that, even when they haven't kissed yet?) would protect her…she hoped…

Momo knew that Toushiro would be _extremely _upset if he ever found out that she had been on this and didn't stop it. Because of this silly dare from that damn strawberry, her relationship with Toushiro could break… But when was the last time she did something that was thrilling?

Yoruichi simply didn't care about the consequences.

Momo slid the door a bit and stuck her head in, relieved that he was asleep. "Okay, two minutes, and then we're out." She whispered.

The women tiptoed into the room and around Toushiro's bed. They stared down at his face as they knelt by him.

"So how are we going to do this?"

"We'll put our heads together with his and Orihime will take the picture." Rukia whispered.

Matsumoto and Momo put their faces by his right, Rukia and Orihime by his left and Yaruichi put her head over his, a large grin plastered on her face. Orihime pointed the camera towards them, hoping all six faces would appear on the photo, but stopped as soon as in idea came to her head.

"Orihime, what are you doing?"

She took out a pair of sunglasses. "The flash might wake him up. I just remembered that I brought these sunglasses!"

"Shhh!"

"Are those bunnies?"

"Y-Yeah… My brother bought them for me when I was little. You can keep them afterwards."

"Shhh!"

"Thank you!"

Momo grabbed the sunglasses and gently placed them on him. Again, the girls went back to position and Orihime took the picture. She turned the digital camera around and frowned.

"Half of Yoruichi's head got cut off."

"Let me see… Take another! My smile came out crooked too."

"Shhh!"

_Snap_

"Rukia, you closed your eyes."

_Snap_

"Aw, now I cut myself off… Another!"

_Snap_

"Matsumoto, your girls are almost on his face."

"Eh? Let me see. Oh, I look so beautiful! I really like this picture…but shouldn't we take another without these blankets?"

"Matsumoto, that'll wake him up!"

"Shhhhhhh!"

"What? I'm just saying that we should take a picture without his covers!"

"Matsumoto, he has no shirt on!"

"Captain Hitsugaya doesn't look too bad without a shirt. Come on, one picture."

And they did. Momo rolled down his covers until his waist, looking at his face and hoping he wouldn't wake up. They got into position and Orihime pressed the button.

"Okay, I think that's enough. We should get out of here before he wakes up."

Orihime, taking her sunglasses with her, Rukia, and Yaruichi quietly exited the room but Matsumoto stayed behind, looking down at the sleeping captain.

"Do you think he sleeps naked?"

"Wh-Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," Matsumoto looked at her, a mischievous look on her face, "Come on; it'll be just one peak."

"No."

"It'll take one second."

"No."

"Aren't you curious?"

"..M-Maybe..."

"Then one peak!" Matsumoto whispered loudly.

Momo took a deep breath and glared at her. "_I'll _take a look and tell you…"

Her friend nodded as Momo lifted part of his cover and looked down. She was expecting to see some blue shorts or something, but instead was met with-

"Oh my-"

"Matsumoto, shhh!"

"Captain Hitsugaya does not disappoint, eh Momo?"

Momo placed the covers back and grabbed the giggling vice-captain, dragging her outside before her friend woke up and killed them.

"What took you guys so long?" Rukia asked as soon as the two walked outside.

"Momo took off Captain Hitsugaya's covers to see how big he was."

Orihime and Rukia blushed as Yoruichi laughed out loud.

"Eh, never knew you to be the freaky one, Momo. Tell me, how big was it?"

"Yoruichi, my captain does _not _disappoint despite him being short and all! What he lacks in height is forgiven elsewhere!"

Momo ignored them as she walked away. As she and the rest of the girls headed back to Karakura Town, Momo thought about _what _to dare Ichigo to do. It took her a few seconds, but an idea came to her head and she smirked.

Oh yeah, that strawberry was going to suffer…

* * *

Toushiro knew something was up with his vice-captain. Well, there was always something up with his vice captain…but this time was different. Usually, she would be lying on the couch with an alcoholic beverage in her hand. But today, she was staring at him with wide eyes and a large grin on her face. He knew that he should ignore her stupid looks, but a part of him wanted to know what was so damn amusing.

"Is there something wrong that is so damn funny?"

Matsumoto shook her head and looked away, her stupid grin still plastered on her face. Shaking his head, the captain went back to his work but stopped as soon as he caught her staring at his body.

Oh, she was up to something…

"Is there a reason why you're staring at me?"

"I'm curious…"

"About?"

"Your pants,"

"What about it?"

"Does it fit you too tight?"

He looked up and saw her staring at his crotch area. He stood still, not sure how to react as he intentionally made the temperature in the room drop.

Matsumoto's grin faded as she started to see ice form on the ceiling of the room. Well, if that wasn't a clue for her to run away, then she didn't want to stick around to know what was.

* * *

Momo knew that no amount of hiding would save her from his anger. Sure, it had been fun and games…until she was caught.

Apparently, Ichigo had told Kenpachi about the dare and his pink-haired vice-captain, who had been there to listen to all of the details, thought it was so funny that Captain Ukitake and Captain Shunsui had to know about it too. From there, almost everyone in Soul Society knew about what happened and laughed…until Captain Hitsugaya appeared in sight.

While Yoruichi didn't fear the captain, she had told Urahara that she was going to spend the rest of the week elsewhere for some "self-time". _Sure_.

Rukia had gone to Karakura Town, hiding with a nervous Orihime. The orange-haired girl had been so nervous that she even asked Ulquiorra if he could hide them in Hueco Mundo for a bit. The former Espada rejected the idea, stating that even though Aizen didn't rule there anymore, it was too dangerous…and he was curious as to see what the captain had in mind as revenge.

Poor Matsumoto was the first one to suffer the consequences. No alcohol, clean out every bathroom in the tenth-division, clean the kitchens, and do a whole stack of paper work _with the supervision of Captain Yamamoto_ for one whole year.

With the locks to her headquarters changed, Momo knew that Toushiro wouldn't dare knock her door down just to confront her about the whole ordeal.

Maybe he won't do anything to her?

Praying that she was right, she took off her clothes and stepped into the shower.

* * *

Orihime stood by her sofa, her eyes wide and her face red as Ichigo looked at her with pleading eyes. She wasn't sure what to say to his request as he nervously took a camera out.

"Momo dared me, and I can't escape from this dare!"

"B-But he'll kill you."

"He doesn't have to know! Just tell me at what time he sleeps and I'll do it really quick! He won't notice."

Orihime blinked as he grabbed her hands. "Please, do it for me! Kenpachi and Renji will find me weak if I don't do this!"

"But I don't know what time he sleeps… He doesn't stay here often, and when he does, he doesn't sleep…"

"Then call him, Inoue! He won't come if any of us try to contact him, but he'll listen to you! Just call him, get him to stay overnight and when he's asleep, I'll take the picture and leave! He won't even have a clue of what happened…"

* * *

With her wet hair tied in a bun, Momo reached out for her towel but frowned as her hand touched the wall instead. Confused, she opened the shower door and screamed when she felt a flash. Toushiro lowered the camera and turned it around, smirking as he saw the photo. Blushing, Momo jumped back inside the shower and hid her body with the glass door, noticing her towel neatly folded next to him.

"Shiro-chan? Did you just take a picture of me…naked?"

"Of course I did. Didn't you just see me do it?"

"B-But….I'm naked!"

"Isn't it fair for couples to have nude pictures of each other?"

"But I didn't take a picture of you naked!"

"But you peaked."

"H-How'd you know?"

"Because I don't remember neatly folding my sheets by my waist…and you dropped this," he responded, showing her a pink bobby pin.

Oops?

Momo cursed at herself and looked up. "It was Ichigo's fault! He dared me, so you should confront him instead!"

"I would, but he's currently hiding."

"From who?"

"Ulquiorra. He thought he could outsmart the Espada and take a picture of him naked without getting caught. Problem was, Ulquiorra doesn't sleep and Orihime failed at convincing him to take off his clothes."

For a second, Momo felt sorry for daring Ichigo to do something that dangerous, but immediately felt proud at how good her dare was since he was the reason she was in this mess.

Toushiro got up and started to walk away, hands deep inside his pocket.

"W-Wait, where are you doing?"

"Back to my office. I'll see you tomorrow for dinner."

"What about the picture?! Aren't you going to delete that?"

"Hm,"

"Shiro-chan…"

"Hm?"

"You _are _going to delete it…right?"

"Hm," he said with a shrug, disappearing into the night.

Momo blinked as she thought about what just happened.

It wasn't like he was going to show the picture to anyone….right?

* * *

**The End. So I was going to name this fic "Pen15", but then said no because I know _someone _would get offended and stuff... Anyway, I thought of this while listening to Latin Comedy stuff on Pandora and watching an old show called The Parkers. In one of the eps, a woman, her daughter, and a few other women had to take a picture with their sleeping professor in order to join this sisterhood/sorority type of thing... so yeah :D It's been a while since I did comedy so I'm sorry if ain't funny T_T But I hope you enjoyed?**

**REVIEW! **


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